Stunningly Pretty to be a Lesbian

You've probably seen or heard about the good sex movies in which a woman enters her bathroom, shuts the door behind her, and sits on the edge of a bathtub before chopping off all her hair. With her eyes closed and her brows pinched in concentration, she snips away at all that dark brown hair until just stubble remains. Then another series of shots—a woman's face; the scissors in motion; another girl with incredibly short hair now—and by this moment, your heart has been ripped out by this narrative:

You don't want to cry for this woman (although maybe you do). It's just that witnessing something so simple—someone making their own judgments about their appearance—is so infrequent on film that it may take you off guard.

I've been having second thoughts about my gender identity and even my sexuality.

Gender Identity: Your inner feelings.

Many people, including trans and gender nonconforming people, use the terms "gender identity" and "gender expression" interchangeably. Gender identity, on the other hand, is separate from how we express our gender via the clothes we wear.

Sexual orientation, clothes, or conduct have no bearing on gender identification. It is about your inner identity—how you see yourself and what seems correct in your brain and emotions (and body). To put it another way, it is much more than just apparel! Only by asking yourself, "Which pronouns best fit me?" can you identify your true gender identity. Do I consider myself a boy/girl/man/woman? Is it true that I am mostly drawn to people of my own gender?

Don't be concerned if this seems strange! You will ultimately discover your own answers, even if they differ from others' expectations or views of what it means to be transgender (or even human). That's not to say there's something wrong with us; it's simply that labels aren't always helpful in understanding our identities—especially when we differ so much!

Initially, she intended to cut her hair for charity.

She intended to donate her long, black hair to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients. But then she met Pretty Girls Make Graves (PGMG), a group that took in women with short hair and converted them into attractive lesbians. Mandy Moore, the founder of PGMG, contacted her and inquired about having her hair trimmed and styled. She first rejected because her friends thought it would be too much hassle, but she later decided that having a boyfriend wasn't worth the trouble since he wasn't nice enough—plus, he wouldn't let her wear heels or dresses anymore!

She not only wants to share a message with her friends, but she also wants to do it on her own terms. She does not want others to pass judgment on her or make assumptions about who she is based on how lesbians are seen as a group. She wants to be honest with them before anybody else finds out, placing them in an awkward position where they must choose between keeping her secret and supporting their friend who has a significant other. The film was made for all of these reasons: so that everyone would know the truth about who she is before someone else did; so that she could finally be honest with herself and others; and so that people could see what it's like to be gay in America today from the inside.

Her hair provided her with consolation. Ella, on the other hand, now treasures her freedom to be herself, even if it means foregoing something that gives her a sense of identity.

She said that her goal is to start again and eventually become the person she was meant to be, no matter the cost to herself.

Ella stated she expected backlash when she cut off all of her long black hair and replaced it with short bangs and shaved sides.

People who do not conform to gender norms are often chastised and assaulted.

Your physical appearance is not a true reflection of your personality. It says nothing about your personality, intelligence, or kindness. Why should we assess individuals based on their gender when they should not be judged based on their appearance?

People should be treated the same regardless of their gender identity or expression. Gender-variant people experience professional discrimination, harassment for not conforming to gender norms in public facilities, and many have faced violence and even murder as a consequence of their gender nonconformity. In addition to these difficulties, transgender and genderqueer individuals have poorer access to health care than cisgender (non-trans) people—significantly less whether they are trans women or nonbinary people who do not identify as male-to-female (MTF).

It makes no difference what gender someone identifies with or if that person wishes to have a body type other than the one he or she was born with (or vice versa). What important is that everyone, regardless of looks, is treated appropriately, which includes knowing that everyone has the ability to express themselves in whatever manner they choose without fear of being judged negatively by others.

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